By Barbara Marschall

Guest Commentary

My husband and I became parents in 1976. Since 1982, the first day of school was a day of great anticipation, excitement and new beginnings for my children and the thousands of others who either looked forward to, or dreaded, the first day of a new school year.

This year, I sent my “baby,” our youngest daughter, off to school as a high-school senior. I didn’t get to wait at the bus stop because she now drives herself to activities before and after school. For the past few years, I was politely asked not to accompany her to the bus stop on that first day. And any pictures taken had to be done in the driveway and not at the bus stop.

I often remember my mother talking about how fast time goes by and how quickly our babies grow up, always ending with the wise advice to take the time to enjoy every day with them.

In this age of two-income families and single-parent households, and the increasing demands on our time from school and other activities, it is often difficult to find time to spend together. Eating a meal together is one of the simplest and most effective ways to have a healthy impact on kids and raise the level of parental involvement in their lives. Good food, lots of laughter and great conversations are what family dinners are made of. It doesn’t matter if it’s a gourmet meal, macaroni and cheese or take-out from your favorite restaurant. What your kids want at the dinner table is you. Family meals are the perfect time to talk to your kids and to listen to what’s on their mind.

This year, Scott County Public Health and its community partners are promoting “Family Day – A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children” on Monday, Sept. 24. Family Day was created by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University in 2001 to remind parents about the importance of parental involvement in their children’s lives and to encourage frequent family dinners as an effective way to prevent substance abuse.

Family Day is being promoted in our schools, faith communities and businesses. Pledge cards have been distributed in the middle schools for families to complete and return for entry into prize drawings. The pledge is to share a meal (breakfast, lunch or dinner) with their family on Family Day. Efforts are focused on middle-school ages because of the transition of young children becoming teenagers and the increased risk of substance abuse as they move from middle school to high school.

Joseph Califano Jr., CASA’s chairman and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare says, “America’s drug problem is not going to be solved in courtrooms or legislative hearing rooms by judges and politicians. It will be solved in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables – by parents and families. Family dinners and the communication that occurs over the course of a meal are critical in building a relationship with your children and to understanding the world in which they live.”

CASA research has consistently shown that the more often children and teens eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink and use drugs. Children and teens who have frequent family dinners are at a lower risk of substance abuse and thoughts of suicide and are less likely to have friends who use drugs. They often have lower levels of tension and stress at home, and they say they can confide in their parents and feel that their parents are proud of them. These children are also more likely to get better grades in school and have healthier eating habits than peers who have few family meals together. Teens with problems in one area of their lives often have problems in others as well.

Among families that have infrequent family dinners, parents and teens do not always agree on the reasons why dinners are not more frequent. The reasons most often given by parents and teens alike are parents working late, after-school activities, being too busy and conflicting schedules.

It’s never too early, or too late, to start the tradition of regular family dinners with your children. Encourage children to create menu ideas and participate in meal preparation. Turn off the TV and let the answering machine or voice mail take calls. Keep conversation positive and give everyone a chance to speak.

Maintaining open lines of communication is one of the most important things we can do to protect our children. Helping them to build self-esteem, teaching ways to make good decisions and being sensitive to their needs and behaviors are critical to their health, safety and well-being. Talk to them. Sometimes you’ll be amazed at what you learn.

Information contained herein was provided by CASA. Please visit www.CASAFamilyDay.org [2].

Prior Lake resident Barbara Marschall is a commissioner on the Scott County Board. She can be reached at (952) 496-8744, by e-mailing bmarschall@co.scott.mn.us [3] or by mailing the Scott County Government Center, 200 W. Fourth Ave., Shakopee, MN 55379.