From readers
THE REAL LAKERS
Rave: “Spring was a great season to be a Laker fan! Prior Lake High School had two sectional champions (boys golf and softball); two sectional runner-ups (baseball and girls track); two other teams that placed in state (synchronized swimming, adapted softball); several teams that improved dramatically over past years (boys track, girls golf and lacrosse); and the boys tennis team was recognized statewide for their high grade-point average. Impressive! Thanks to the players, coaches and administrators of all of the teams for making the last season in the Missota Conference so enjoyable! Good luck in the South Suburban Conference next year!”
A WELCOME FIX
Rave: “St. Paul to Jordan daily driver” writes: “Kudos to whoever decided to ban left turns from southbound Highway 13 onto Zinran Avenue. In addition to saving literally two minutes off my daily commute – almost two hours a year that I could’ve spent staring at the back end of the car in front of me – you’ve made Highway 13 safer. So many southbound drivers swerve onto the shoulder near that intersection. Now, the left-turners have been diverted to 150th Street, which can’t possibly be a hassle for them, being that it’s only a block out of the way. But it’s so much better for the through traffic. It’s a pleasure to drive through a town like Prior Lake on my way to work. Neat place. And obviously people care about safety on the roads, too.”
From staff
FAKIN’ BACON
Rave: Baconnaise is one of those products I’m not sure whether to rant or rave (or laugh or cry) about. We’ll go with rave, for sheer creativity, even though I haven’t tried the product – yet. (It will happen; I love mayonnaise and I love bacon.) I stumbled on this product while shopping for regular ol’ mayo this week, and it certainly stopped me in my tracks. After a good 30 seconds of shock and awe, the food label reader in me looked at the ingredients. Just as I expected: There’s not actually bacon in it (just a bunch of smoke flavor and other junk). Still, I’m intrigued by the product and the guys who invented it. J&D’s Foods (two guys named Justin and Dave) used their winnings from “America’s Funniest Home Videos” to fulfill their apparently lifelong dream – “making everything taste like bacon.” In addition to Baconnaise, they have bacon-flavored salt, bacon ranch dressing mix and a product I’m sure to try sometime soon despite the fact that it doesn’t even sound good – bacon-flavored popcorn. Oh, and if you’d rather just get the taste without the calories, you can try their bacon-flavored envelopes and lip balm. These guys even say their products are kosher, vegetarian and all around good for people (at least compared to laying slabs of bacon on a sandwich). Brilliant. – Lori Carlson
‘REFASHIONING’ THE KID
Rant: OK, Hollywood, enough already. We do not need a remake of “The Karate Kid” in any way, shape or form. “But the young generations will love this story!” you say. Yes, they will. And all their parents have to do is use Blockbuster, Redbox and Netflix to share it with the young ones. “But this appeals to a different demographic!” you insist. I agree, if the demographic you speak of includes the children of Hollywood stars being exploited for millions of dollars. The film, produced by Will Smith, “has been refashioned as a star vehicle for [his son] Jaden Smith.” Ugh. And don’t even get me started on the idea of casting the hammy Jackie Chan in anything remotely resembling the role of Mr. Miyagi. Ugh. An even bigger “ugh”: unlike the 1984 film, this perverse “refashioning” doesn’t even feature karate! In fact, America is the only place where the film will actually be released as “The Karate Kid.” In Asian countries, where they actually know the difference between various kinds of martial arts, it will be called “The Kung Fu Kid.” Can I say “ugh” a few more times? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. – Lori Carlson
ROAD WORK SEASON
Rant: People often say there are two seasons in Minnesota – winter and road construction – and I’m here to beg for winter to come early. I’m loving the light rains and rays of sunshine, but I’d give them up if it meant having a smooth and safe commute. Whether I’m trying to go up to the Twin Cities or even driving to run errands in the suburbs, my drives are filled with orange cones and detour signs. I’m all for improving the quality of the roads and making them easier to drive on, but I have to wonder: Does the road construction ever stop, or is there always work to be done? – Meryn Fluker
MAKING LIGHT
Rave: Someone smart finally combined something wonderful with something tragic. The devastation in the Gulf Coast is painful to watch, and someone online has finally managed to make a point and make me smile by juxtaposing footage of the Gulf Coast destruction with clips from the infamous oil spill episode of “Saved by the Bell.” Maybe it’s just because I consider myself an honorary graduate of Bayside High School, but I think that if it takes something admittedly silly to bring my age group’s attention to something as serious as the Gulf Coast oil spill, it’s worth it. Be honest: You shed a tear, too, when Zack hugged Becky the duck’s oil-covered body. – Meryn Fluker
Do you have a rant or a rave? Send us your musings:
E-mail: rantsandraves@swpub.com
Address: Prior Lake American, Attn: Rants and Raves, P.O. Box 538, Prior Lake, MN, 55372
Guidelines: Reader rants and raves should be no more than 175 words. The deadline is noon each Wednesday.
Rants and raves that are potentially libelous will not be printed or will be edited.
Submissions will not be refused because staff disagrees with their content. Anonymous submissions are acceptable; however, including a contact name and/or phone number is helpful for staff, who may have questions about the submission.
Rants and raves may be edited as space requires. All publication decisions will be made by the editor.
NOTE: In the interest of fairness to all, the newspaper does not print rants or raves about local businesses.